#and would be willing to bring it to me
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Writing a song cant be that hard. Surely. Surely it cant be that hard.
#should i be writing lyrics first or wroting the music. also i should probably learn how to read sheet music#and i should probably get my hands kn an instrumence. maybe dylan still has my keyboard#and would be willing to bring it to me#or i could ask faron if i can steal his (move it from his bedroom to the living room)#maybe i can talk to scout and kelso about guitar#if anyone has tips. please. tell me
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character dynamic thing ive noticed at work
#rain code#mdarc#raincode#yuma kokohead#vivia twilight#yakou furio#ig i could ship tag this#viviakou#yumakou#before anyone comes at me with 'yuma wouldn't kill' HE WOULD!!! HEFULLY INTENDED TO USE THE LABYRINTH TO OFF THAT HITMAN#yes he wanted to bring out the truth but he was willing to make a sacrafice for it#anyway lol they have such similar dynamics to me i adore them
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
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If some other magicless person got stuck in Twisted Wonderland and tried to take my place, I'd simply let them. Yeah, bitch, now you take care of these motherfuckers and deal with Crowley's bullshit, see if I fuckin care. Have fun babysitting a bunch of sunovabitches who barely even remember you exist half the time.
I love the angst of "they pushed the Prefect away and replaced them only to miss them when they finally leave", but, also, if I were Yuu, I'd absolutely just let it happen. Call me a pushover, but I ain't shedding a tear for friends who left for the newest shiny thing. And it would relieve me from all the trouble. Guess who's not fighting Overblots anymore? This bastard, that's who.
#twisted wonderland#I'm not salty however yes I am#I'd not fight for people willing to replace me just like that#«but you'd be lonely» being accompanied by fake assholes is 10x lonelier#though that gives me an idea#how fun would it be if NRC started trying to replace Yuu and instead of going to RSA‚ Yuu goes to FUCKIN ROLLO#just knocks on NBC and «heeeeey» and Rollo is foaming at the mouth because «they kicked out a MAGICLESS PERSON??»#Rollo: You called me a monster when I lighted that fire‚ but can you call yourselves *men* after abandoning the Prefect#Bells of Notre Dame but instead it's Yuu running to NBC and Rollo taking her in#wait that also means I could make the others get obsessed with bringing Yuu back#so they'd have Hellfire. meanwhile‚ Rollo has a repentance arc through his relationship with Yuu‚ Heaven's Light#... I'm rambling#devaneios de bellee
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I need to talk about Julian's whole thing with Sloan in Extreme Measures cause it does actually make me feel a certain kind of rabid
Extreme Measures is a great episode for the Julian/Miles dynamic and has a lot of great moments with them but I think an underrated element of the episode is how it very plainly shows just how much the Dominion War has changed Julian, and how his morals have shifted into a much greyer area
Julian in this episode is very callous towards Sloan even as he's literally dying. he has no issues violating Sloan's mind, and when Sloan dies, the only reason he actually cares is because the answers and secrets Sloan has will die with him. truly cannot emphasize enough just how deeply Julian fucking hates Sloan, and sheer hatred isnt something we really see all that much from Julian, especially not to the degree he was with Sloan
even with that, though, Julian has never been like that with another patient. Julian doesnt let his personal feelings get in the way of being a doctor, and always treats his patients with the utmost care and his best work. Julian was willing to find a cure for the Jem'Hadar's addiction, simply because they asked for help, even if it meant potentially making them into a much bigger threat than they already were. Julian treated Tain in Camp 371. and, sure, Julian does treat Sloan, but he does so explicitly because Sloan has information they need, not because he has any care for Sloan's life
and I think that- his willingness to violate Sloan's mind to get what they need, and how he didn't particularly care that Sloan died- is a really bleak look at just how much the war has changed Julian and how much it's shifted his moral compass. throughout the war, Julian has been ordered time and time again to compromise his morals. add to that several traumatic events- multiple of which are orchestrated by Sloan- and a slide into deep depression, and it's no wonder he gets to a point where he can do the things he does in this episode
and I dont think it hits him until much later. I think one day, long after the war has ended and theyre still rebuilding everything that was broken, Julian lays awake at night and remembers how bad it got and what he became willing to do, and it makes him sick to his stomach
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#luther sloan#Luther Sloan's death wasn't painful enough I need to bring him back and kill him again#Julian's hatred for Sloan is so compelling to me#I love when a character who is fundamentally kind and compassionate is driven to consuming hatred and rage#and Sloan does that to Julian in ways I dont think anybody else does#and that hatred is what allows Julian to do what he does#cause when you think about it- violating a dying man's mind- that is. INSANE#and not something you would expect from Julian who has always been so staunch about his morals#the morals he's been asked to compromise. over and over. by the people he looks up to#its so tragically ironic#Sloan wanted Julian to move into greyer areas and he got exactly what he wanted#except in the process it also got him killed#and yeah I think it does haunt Julian later#because Julian is a fundamentally good person#so one day he will have to contend with what he did#what he was willing to do#he's too good of a person to not have to wrestle with this at some point#maybe ill write a fic about it#I think about it often
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Something I find extremely fascinating about AFO but never see a lot of people talk about is how he is content with letting his original body die and letting his vestige take over for him.
The story explicitly tells us that quirk vestiges aren't something like souls, while they have the same look, personality and memories they're actually separate entities from the person they are apart of and whatever happens to the vestige the person they belong to has no recollection or awareness of it. (though AFO's case here is special as Ujiko's modification to Tomura does make him aware of what AFOmura is doing, but it's still a different entity than him)
So I find it intriguing how AFO is willing to literally let himself die as long as the vestige can live on. He calls his own body useless and constantly talks about how superior his new body will be even though it'll be his vestige that lives inside of it not the actual him. With how much time he spent with Ujiko and learning from him about the way quirks work you think that he would hesitate about the entire matter as if his original body dies then he dies a long with it. His vestige isn't his soul so his true self would not live on. If you believe the characters in that world have souls then essentially he'll be in the afterlife as his vestige lives on and completes his work.
I think it says a lot in how he views himself in relation to his quirk. He only ever goes by the name All For One, which is what he also names his quirk. I think he sees his quirk as something so deeply intermingled with his identity that the thought of his actual body dying doesn't bother him. So he's fine with his quirk vestige living on as his own body withers away because views it as part of his truest self. So it doesn't matter if he dies as long as this part he views as his authentic self is able to keep on living in the world and makes his dreams come true then he's fine with it
Don't know if this made sense, maybe someone else can explain this better or correct me, but it's such a perplexing and yet fascinating aspect of his character. Honestly, I don't even think I fully understand how quirk vestiges work completely because it can be confusing at times.
#I remember people having a hard time accepting that he was willing to allow his body to die and thought he would come up with something#to stop the rewind but he was perfectly content with dying that way as long as he was able to reach tomura and bring the AFO vestige out#going to think about this more as it still has me like !!!!!!?????
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from here
#this is so fucking important to me#im... so happy about how the manga tackled THIS scene#kingdom hearts#this part of kh3 always felt odd to me tbh#it felt like the writers wanted to do something and just. didnt go all the way#there were ideas and they just didnt fully write them down and put the same amount of effort into them as they did in other places#THIS feels so fucking... emotional. and for what reason?#it's just. sora cares about roxas.#it's just true. he cares about roxas and feels bad about the situation that him and roxas both were put in.#he never found it fair that he got to exist while roxas was told to unalive.#and while the sora writing in khDDD and kh3 definitely told us that#definitely told us that sora DOES NOT like this situation and he would be willing to do anything to bring roxas back#it wasn't this.#this feels like a friend you barely got to know. realising that you had it so rough.#and desperately trying to break down any barriers between you two and grab your wrist#to hold onto you tight and refuse to give up on searching for you and trying to help you out of your darkest places.#sora is so fucking insistent on proving that roxas is not just his nobody.#roxas is roxas.#donald being sorta confused makes complete sense#because he didnt see how roxas fought with every fibre of his being against sora to just try and beat him and prove his right to live#he didnt see sora bearing the weight of roxas' life and feel the betrayals and lies and deception that he barely understood as it was.#to anyone else. roxas probably is just sora's nobody.#sora may very well be the one person who knows that isn't true.
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crying over all the dirt on DJ Music Man again,,,
He just- SNIFF SOB He deserves to be clean and shiny like everyone elseeee waaaaaaahhhhgahhdjaa UGLY SOBBING 😭😭😭
Me with the biggest bucket and towel I could find with a small army of mop bots also holding buckets of water, towels, and soap.
Me: tears in my eyes, "Please- 🥺"
DJMM: ????
#when i say tears in my eyes imagine the saddest wettest cat. sopping wet and sad#he'd let me clean him up bc he's afraid i'll start sobbing if he doesn't (I would)#and also cuz it would be nice! to be clean! For Once!#he plays music. a lil rubba dub dub song for bathtime lol#he briefly wonders if I'd be willing to help the mini music men too. at least some of the grimier ones#I would. 😤 those vent spiders are getting a bath too <3#dj music man#mini music man#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#i am not the first to bring up The Dirt. but it makes me Sad! so im going to cry about it on the internet!
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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im a eurydice = solas truther btw and ill die for my beliefs
be so serious........ and lavellan as orpheus......
#I NEED TO BE LOBOTOMIZED. TRULY.#i dont even know where to start i feel like i cant even post abt this bc theres no way all my thoughts can fit coherently lol#like the 2nd act/hadestown soul-selling business is just solas committing to his goals....#who would win eurydice/solas ''i walk the dinan'shiral - there is only death on this journey'' or orpheus/lavellan walking it anyway lol#to find them and bring them home again#also if the solas-is-a-spirit-that-mythal-bound theory turns out true then the hades = mythal parallels well. they are parelleling <3#''And the choice is yours / if you're willing to choose / Seeing as you've got nothing to lose / And I could use a canary'' HELLO????#ik the other popular interpretation is solas as orpheus but idk solas/eurydice just makes me crazy . it works so well#like theres that one interaction thats like#eurydice: “i havent seen a spring or fall since.... i cant recall”#orpheus "thats what im working on / a song to fix what's wrong / take whats broken#make it whole / a song so beautiful / it brings the world back into tune''#and thats very solas coded. BUT its also such a good parellel to high approval lavellan's fixing the world thru the inquisition/anchor#and thru their kindness and curiosity and all the things he thought were lost in arlathan. the things that make him think maybe shes Real#and it could all be real and worthwhile.#solas recognising the depth and personhood of lavellan thru their [from his pov endearingly naive] actions and spirit#''i havent seen a spring or fall since...i cant recall'' / ''you show a wisdom i have not seen since.... since my deepest journeys into the#ancient memories of the fade'' what if i lost my entire goddamn mind. what if i just completely lost it lol#ok im done im so sorry i feel like harrassing every single person ive ever met with this information like idek what to do with myself lol
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will there be any scenes involving near death experience?
Hehehe
Oh yes
Sadly, for now it's quite a ways till we get there, for ark 1 won't really have much. Heh. Unless you count the 'fix', though the only one who really takes note of the change is Dev. Don't worry, it's not that bad.
Heh, hey, it might even be a good thing
Peri is a good fairy after all
Dale is a bad dad
Someone has to fix that, right?
#And who would be willing to fix that?#Heh‚ oh‚ I'm sure we all have an idea#Don't we?#HAHAHAH!#Oh‚ I do so hope you are looking forward to what's to come#But you seem to delight in most of what I do#So I do think you'll enjoy it too#Hehehe‚ well‚ who wouldn't enjoy seeing Dale get his due?#Well‚ still‚ his true due is for so much later#But‚ this may be an interesting addition#Just something simple to mess with his head#Regardless‚ thank you for the ask!#As always‚ I do so appreciate it!#Such a lovely one is you#Bringing me glee in all you do#A little ask in my valley of despair#fop What It takes Ask#fop What It takes#fop#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop anw#fopanw#fop a new wish#fop peri#dale dimmadome#peri fairywinkle cosma#peri#fop dale
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Thank you to Steph for making Tim a more tolerable weirdo fan....maybe she can hit him again
She's just gotta keep wacking him over the head with a brick until he finally becomes just a normal guy who's not completely insufferable
#ask#anon#i believe in you steph#if anyone can fix tim its you#but also#someone on that last ask mentioned that tim would be willing to shoot anyone who knew him at that stage of his life#and it got me thinking#Bernard knew him#bernard definitely brings it up as often as humanly possible#hey tim remember that tim you went around the school with your camera and tried to ask gotcha questions#to everyone who was wearing a batman / nightwing / blue beetle shirt#i remember :DDD
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Am almost done with crocheting my rainbow blanket and for the lols did some math.
I can do 6 hexagons per hour if i don't let myself get distracted
Each colour has 7 hexes with white border and 12 full colour hexes
I have 8 colours in total
This means per colour i need a bit over 3 hours per colour. Untangling and cutting yarn as i go taken into consideration, i need about 3.5 hours per colour.
3.5 hours times 8 is 28 hours. Minimum wage per hour in Germany is currently at 12.41 €
Only for the pieces to be crocheted would mean I could charge 347.48 € for them and this does NOT take into consideration that i had to buy the yarn before starting and that there will still go several hours into blocking the pieces and sewing them together to form a blanket.
So i guess what I'm meaning to say is. If you want to purchase handcrocheted or otherwise handmade stuff you should really take into consideration what it is worth in means of hours of labour and a modicum of fair wage.
And the other way around too. I see it with artists all the time who are underselling their work, but artisans and crafters should not be ashamed or afraid to charge up in order to get a fair prize for selling.
#mutantenfisch rambles#if i could sell this blanket for minimum wage-based money i would make approximately 450 bucks#but i already know that very few people would be willing to pay more than 45 bucks at most for a small decoration item like this#which brings me to the clothing industry which in turn is a whole other essay i could write but won't bc it makes me so sad n angry
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Please try to find some sort of therapy or something because you have So so much more potential and worth than you think you do and its earnestly so saddening to see you resigning yourself to a fate you don't deserve
its ok because its my own fault honestly :[ im going to try to stop complaining now that it's just becoming more and more evident that im just choosing not to take da reins of my own life
#anonymous#skunk mail#im trying to get myself back to optimism#bc there Is a rare potential opportunity for me#but i dont think im going to take it or the other help offered#the stuff i have going on with my family is far too complicated#on top of now thinking my life would be worse if i moved im going to be honest and say i literally dont want to waste 8 hrs of the day if i#can help it.#ill be struggling to keep myself alive much less draw and if my art improvement stagnates even MORE i#dont know whats the point of sticking around#im literally just useless member of society and actively deciding to do so#so obviously im not going to get anything i want nor do i deserve it. im not willing to put#the work in. its too difficult. i dont want anything that much.#its my own fault#idk how ill feel in a few months once ive missed my only chance but its how i feel now#i was so determined and resolved for a few months and was even planning but all it took was one conversation#to bring me back to reality so how would i even survive on my own if im this weak and naïve lol#i dont know.#delete later
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Everyone please hope that my medical appointment tomorrow goes somewhat well.
Doctors are usually really mean to me for reasons I cannot comprehend (perhaps they are like horses and will kick the shit out of you if they sense you're afraid of them, idk) so I'm like,,,super scared.
Especially because this is about a deformity that I'm very embarrassed and insecure about
#im willing to specify i just didnt want the post to get long dkshks#i wish it was acceptable for adults to bring a second person with them tbh. like. why can children have a parent present but i cant#not my parent. i am low contact with my parents. i mean like someone in general. i would feel much less like a prey animal#about to get murdered if i could have an emotional support friend with me kjsdfhkjsdfh#i think its also because im much more willing to take shit and keep my mouth shut than most of my friends. so when a doctor tells me#that im a hysterical girl im like 'ok : (.' whereas my friends would probably be like 'no he isnt. also thats irrelevant.#what are his options?'#whereas i dont even ask honestly. im too scared. a doctor could tell me to go kms and id be like 'ok im sorry for being alive :' ('
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